Since I have been 19 I have not been single. I mean, my relationship status has read single and I'd go solo to 21st most of the time but I have not really been single.
For 3 years I was consumed by a dramatic relationship that would be all expensive presents and crazy declarations of love one minute, self esteem crippling manipulations and volatile fights the next minute and cold silences for weeks on end the next minute.
It built me up only to break me down and even though we were off far more than we were on, it was still an all consuming relationship that left me little time to even think about moving on.
Finally I did. I fell in love again.
For the past 10 months, since the 20th of April 2011, I have been with someone who I truly believe loved me in the best possible way that he knew how and the truth is that I think I may have hurt him really badly, which was never my intention. Everyone told me that if I stood up and required more, looked after myself and had the guts to walk away when I was hurting, that I would feel empowered and in the long run, I would be happier.
But nobody told me about the guilt.
Nobody told me how bad it feels to hurt someone, to watch them go from loving you to hating you in the blink of an eye. Nobody told me that I would hold back tears at random intervals of the day just because something happened that I wanted to tell him about only to realise that if I was to text him he wouldn't reply.
Nobody told me how alone I would feel, knocking around in this big old world alone not knowing what was coming next, or who would be the next one to hold my hand, or my heart for that matter.
Nobody told me of the nights I wouldn't sleep, so worried that I had done the wrong thing and hurt everyone for no reason. I pray that he will forgive me. I pray that I will forgive myself. I pray that he can one day smile at the thought of me and know that I never meant to hurt him.
This is the first time in 4 years that I have been completely alone. I'm trying my best not to be lonely.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Shots!
Someone once told me that girls are like alcohol.
"bare with me." he said.
"Most girls" he continued "are like vodka cruisers but you are like straight vodka, a lot harder to take, but a lot more intoxicating."
Some people might take offense to this but I certainly didn't.
I don't ever want to be the sugary counter piece to the real deal. I don't want to be sweet on the tongue but never quite strong enough to have any affect.
When I was told this, I knew that I knew who I was, I was so sure of my future, so unfazed by anything trivial. I wasn't afraid of what people thought, or if I was desired. I was who I was and if you didn't like it, switch to bourbon.
Time changes things.
I fell in love, I wanted to be cool, I gave pieces of myself away, let my resolve be diluted by the desires of others, molded my beliefs to fit more comfortably with the beliefs of the people I so longed to love and accept me.
Each year went by and slowly over time more and more 'flavours' (if you will allow me to continue with the metaphor) were added and less and less of me was left.
I wish I knew how to get that girl back, the head strong no nonsense girl who didn't need anyone to tell she was worth while, the little girl who would stand up for what she believed in.
And if you asked her what her dreams were she would sit you down and take the stars from the sky, one by one explaining how possible the impossible was for her future, and yours as well, and when you were done looking in her eyes of hope and wonder you would feel a buzz, not so unlike a shot of Vodka.
"bare with me." he said.
"Most girls" he continued "are like vodka cruisers but you are like straight vodka, a lot harder to take, but a lot more intoxicating."
Some people might take offense to this but I certainly didn't.
I don't ever want to be the sugary counter piece to the real deal. I don't want to be sweet on the tongue but never quite strong enough to have any affect.
When I was told this, I knew that I knew who I was, I was so sure of my future, so unfazed by anything trivial. I wasn't afraid of what people thought, or if I was desired. I was who I was and if you didn't like it, switch to bourbon.
Time changes things.
I fell in love, I wanted to be cool, I gave pieces of myself away, let my resolve be diluted by the desires of others, molded my beliefs to fit more comfortably with the beliefs of the people I so longed to love and accept me.
Each year went by and slowly over time more and more 'flavours' (if you will allow me to continue with the metaphor) were added and less and less of me was left.
I wish I knew how to get that girl back, the head strong no nonsense girl who didn't need anyone to tell she was worth while, the little girl who would stand up for what she believed in.
And if you asked her what her dreams were she would sit you down and take the stars from the sky, one by one explaining how possible the impossible was for her future, and yours as well, and when you were done looking in her eyes of hope and wonder you would feel a buzz, not so unlike a shot of Vodka.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Home Truth's
Last night I was told some things about myself from somebody that I love. Things that were hard to hear. Things that I already knew. It's funny how you can hide your flaws from most people that circle your life but when you truly let someone in they become a mirror for the things you hate most about yourself. It can be very confronting when someone cares enough to call you on your shit and tell you to pull your head in but it can also be an eye opener to the issues in your life. So in an effort to be transparent I have decided to bare it all.
I judge people.
I judge the way people dress, I judge the way people talk, I judge the way people live their lives. I always say that I hate people who judge others but the truth is that I am so very bad at it and it really has to stop. It's funny how I can have compassion on the homeless and the sick and the poverty stricken but when it comes to every day people in my life I'm the first one to make a snide comment about an outfit or brand someone trash because their hair is just a bit too blonde. How can I say I love people when I write them off before they even speak a word. I am part of this worlds problems.
Some of the best people in my life are nothing like me at all, I can think of 3 of the closest people in my life who I wrote off as a dits, a nerd and a bogan. None of them are any of those things and if I hadn't of been in situations where I was forced to get to know them beyond first encounters I never would have gotten to know the hearts that were in them. I would have missed out.
I need to stop judging people, I need to shut my mouth and open my heart, I need to look at whats on the inside and not whats on the outside, I need to give people the chance that I hope they will give me. I need to change.
I am stubborn.
If I think I am right I will not back down, I will not say sorry, I will not hold out an olive branch. I will punish myself to prove a point, I will push people away if I think they are going to hurt me, I can be cold an aloof and unforgiving.
I promise you, dear reader (always wanted to say that), that I don't want to be that way. I have always had to fight in my life, I was told I would die before the age of one, then before the age of four, then when I was fourteen. Being a stubborn little sucker is what has kept me alive and is what has kept me fighting through a world of pain in my life. I beat heart disease, I beat depression, I beat an eating disorder, I beat becoming a statistic. I held on to my life and my sanity like a bulldog with a ball and I guess that has become so ingrained in me that I don't really know how to stop it. I let it run over into my every day life and I keep people at a distance and I hurt them and I hate myself for that.
Inside my heart breaks at the thought that I could be capable of hurting anyone or pushing anyone away but my exterior has become so hard and so well polished that it's hard for me to be vulnerable, to let someone else be right, to care just a little bit less and smile just a little bit more. My past is no excuse for my present. I have to let some things go and save my stubbornness for when it really matters because if I'm wasting all my time fighting about the small stuff then I will have no energy when I'm fighting the big stuff.
I don't know how I can change these things, except by being aware and praying for wisdom and actively trying to treat the people I encounter on a daily basis better. I'm a work in progress.
Smile often
Beth
I judge people.
I judge the way people dress, I judge the way people talk, I judge the way people live their lives. I always say that I hate people who judge others but the truth is that I am so very bad at it and it really has to stop. It's funny how I can have compassion on the homeless and the sick and the poverty stricken but when it comes to every day people in my life I'm the first one to make a snide comment about an outfit or brand someone trash because their hair is just a bit too blonde. How can I say I love people when I write them off before they even speak a word. I am part of this worlds problems.
Some of the best people in my life are nothing like me at all, I can think of 3 of the closest people in my life who I wrote off as a dits, a nerd and a bogan. None of them are any of those things and if I hadn't of been in situations where I was forced to get to know them beyond first encounters I never would have gotten to know the hearts that were in them. I would have missed out.
I need to stop judging people, I need to shut my mouth and open my heart, I need to look at whats on the inside and not whats on the outside, I need to give people the chance that I hope they will give me. I need to change.
I am stubborn.
If I think I am right I will not back down, I will not say sorry, I will not hold out an olive branch. I will punish myself to prove a point, I will push people away if I think they are going to hurt me, I can be cold an aloof and unforgiving.
I promise you, dear reader (always wanted to say that), that I don't want to be that way. I have always had to fight in my life, I was told I would die before the age of one, then before the age of four, then when I was fourteen. Being a stubborn little sucker is what has kept me alive and is what has kept me fighting through a world of pain in my life. I beat heart disease, I beat depression, I beat an eating disorder, I beat becoming a statistic. I held on to my life and my sanity like a bulldog with a ball and I guess that has become so ingrained in me that I don't really know how to stop it. I let it run over into my every day life and I keep people at a distance and I hurt them and I hate myself for that.
Inside my heart breaks at the thought that I could be capable of hurting anyone or pushing anyone away but my exterior has become so hard and so well polished that it's hard for me to be vulnerable, to let someone else be right, to care just a little bit less and smile just a little bit more. My past is no excuse for my present. I have to let some things go and save my stubbornness for when it really matters because if I'm wasting all my time fighting about the small stuff then I will have no energy when I'm fighting the big stuff.
I don't know how I can change these things, except by being aware and praying for wisdom and actively trying to treat the people I encounter on a daily basis better. I'm a work in progress.
Smile often
Beth
Sunday, January 22, 2012
I want out
As I sit here on a Sunday night looking at blogs from people all around the world I can't help but be drawn to the concept of change. I have been alive for 22 years and have only left my country three times. I keep dreaming up these adventures I want to go on, places I want to see, people I want to encounter and yet I haven't done any of it.
I always promised myself I wouldn't trade in my big crazy dreams for a 9-5 and a house in the suburbs and as I start to get older I begin to wonder... Is that exactly the path I'm heading down?
I don't want mediocre. I want to eat too much pasta in Rome, go ice skating in central park, study ancient relics in Egypt, help rebuilt buildings and lives in Haiti, see a live band at the The Viper Room in Hollywood, catch a fashion show in Milan, pay respect at the battlefields and museums of ww11. I want to stay up all night discussing literature with someone who completely disagrees with me, make documentaries about the lives of people who's stories are more powerful than mine, stay on couches of kind strangers who don't speak any familiar language besides kindness. I want to go somewhere where I can still get lost and I don't already know someones cousin the first time I meet them.
You only get this one life, 100 years if your lucky, and we're young, so why does society make us think we want to buy a little piece of land so we can build ourselves a comfortable little box where we can close our eyes or switch the TV station any time we see something that makes us uncomfortable.
What if you didn't play by the rules? What if you dared to pursue what you really want, not what your parents want, or your partner wants, or the bills require you to do, but what you really wanted when you were still young enough to believe anything was possible.
Live that life. The rest can wait.
And the truth is, that if you go and follow your heart you will come back with so much more to offer to the people you left behind.
I always promised myself I wouldn't trade in my big crazy dreams for a 9-5 and a house in the suburbs and as I start to get older I begin to wonder... Is that exactly the path I'm heading down?
I don't want mediocre. I want to eat too much pasta in Rome, go ice skating in central park, study ancient relics in Egypt, help rebuilt buildings and lives in Haiti, see a live band at the The Viper Room in Hollywood, catch a fashion show in Milan, pay respect at the battlefields and museums of ww11. I want to stay up all night discussing literature with someone who completely disagrees with me, make documentaries about the lives of people who's stories are more powerful than mine, stay on couches of kind strangers who don't speak any familiar language besides kindness. I want to go somewhere where I can still get lost and I don't already know someones cousin the first time I meet them.
You only get this one life, 100 years if your lucky, and we're young, so why does society make us think we want to buy a little piece of land so we can build ourselves a comfortable little box where we can close our eyes or switch the TV station any time we see something that makes us uncomfortable.
What if you didn't play by the rules? What if you dared to pursue what you really want, not what your parents want, or your partner wants, or the bills require you to do, but what you really wanted when you were still young enough to believe anything was possible.
Live that life. The rest can wait.
And the truth is, that if you go and follow your heart you will come back with so much more to offer to the people you left behind.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Just one more pair of shoes
I talk a lot of shit.
Read this blog and you would think I was the next mother Theressa. It is filled to the brim with my thoughts on saving the world, helping the lost find their way, handing out healing to the broken, speaking on behalf of the silent. But the truth is, I just talk a lot of shit.
It has been said that the devils greatest weapon is not to get us into any great evil but instead to keep us distracted. I know that personally I waist so much time, I focus so much energy on things that just don't matter. I can speak of wanting to do great things, write great books, change the planet, feed the hungry but it is all just words as long as I m too caught up stalking people on Facebook, drinking cider or tea with my friends and spending all my money on shoes.
I wish I knew exactly what had to change but the truth is I don't think it's something I can figure out with another night of self analyzing or trolling tumblr for just the right inspirational quote. I think the only real way any of this will change is when I start actually doing all the things I talk about doing. The unimportant will fade away as I spend time engrossed in the important.
You see, distractions only come when you are idol, when your life is lacking, when you feel lost. Once we start walking in the things we are truly passionate about, spending our time and money investing in things that are close to our heart then the trivial will make its way into the peripheral of our hearts where it was always meant to be.
The truth is that deep in my heart, under all the makeup and the shoes and the insecurities, I completely believe in the importance of every persons life. I am totally convinced that every persons voice deserves to be heard and every story is powerful. I believe that if every person lived being true to themselves and following their dreams the world would be a richer place. Every piece of my body aches to see people realise their potential and yet somewhere along the way I got lost.
I got scared, scared that if I offer the things that are deepest within me, the skills that are closest to my heart, the dreams that are uniquely mine, that they will not be enough, that I will find that there is nothing special about me and then I am left vulnerable for rejection. Not only rejection I can control, not a rejection of the exterior, but a rejection of the heart.
What if I offered everything that I had and the world rejected it?
Where do you go from there?
I'm tired of being afraid, I'm tired of settling for the status-quo, I'm tired of having so much in me and yet settling for less. The only thing standing between my life now and the life of my dreams is me and my stupid fear.
All I know is I don't want to stand in front of a child when I finally get my act together and have them ask me "why didn't you come sooner?"
And to have to reply with "I really wanted another pair of shoes."
Read this blog and you would think I was the next mother Theressa. It is filled to the brim with my thoughts on saving the world, helping the lost find their way, handing out healing to the broken, speaking on behalf of the silent. But the truth is, I just talk a lot of shit.
It has been said that the devils greatest weapon is not to get us into any great evil but instead to keep us distracted. I know that personally I waist so much time, I focus so much energy on things that just don't matter. I can speak of wanting to do great things, write great books, change the planet, feed the hungry but it is all just words as long as I m too caught up stalking people on Facebook, drinking cider or tea with my friends and spending all my money on shoes.
I wish I knew exactly what had to change but the truth is I don't think it's something I can figure out with another night of self analyzing or trolling tumblr for just the right inspirational quote. I think the only real way any of this will change is when I start actually doing all the things I talk about doing. The unimportant will fade away as I spend time engrossed in the important.
You see, distractions only come when you are idol, when your life is lacking, when you feel lost. Once we start walking in the things we are truly passionate about, spending our time and money investing in things that are close to our heart then the trivial will make its way into the peripheral of our hearts where it was always meant to be.
The truth is that deep in my heart, under all the makeup and the shoes and the insecurities, I completely believe in the importance of every persons life. I am totally convinced that every persons voice deserves to be heard and every story is powerful. I believe that if every person lived being true to themselves and following their dreams the world would be a richer place. Every piece of my body aches to see people realise their potential and yet somewhere along the way I got lost.
I got scared, scared that if I offer the things that are deepest within me, the skills that are closest to my heart, the dreams that are uniquely mine, that they will not be enough, that I will find that there is nothing special about me and then I am left vulnerable for rejection. Not only rejection I can control, not a rejection of the exterior, but a rejection of the heart.
What if I offered everything that I had and the world rejected it?
Where do you go from there?
I'm tired of being afraid, I'm tired of settling for the status-quo, I'm tired of having so much in me and yet settling for less. The only thing standing between my life now and the life of my dreams is me and my stupid fear.
All I know is I don't want to stand in front of a child when I finally get my act together and have them ask me "why didn't you come sooner?"
And to have to reply with "I really wanted another pair of shoes."
Sunday, December 18, 2011
The year that was
As the year draws to an end and the Christmas tree's go up, "what are you doing this weekend" is replaced with "what are you doing for new years eve" and I cannot help but reflect. This year my life has completely changed in pretty much every way.
It's funny because I didn't really realise that it is happening, it's not like the year you graduate school or the year you turn 21, it was more subtle, unmarked with celebration or ritual, but just as dramatic when you look back.
In some ways this time of year will always be the same. This time last year I was spending time with family, putting up the tree, going to see Christmas lights, buying present for my friends and a boy, working hard in retail and relaxing before the start up of uni again. In these ways my life is pretty much exactly the same, but all the details are different.
I am no longer speaking to, let alone buying presents for, the people that I was last year.
The friends I had then who I would have very easily put money on being in my life forever no longer want anything to do with me, after many tears and failed attempts to bridge a gap I have let them go, realising that some things you just can't fix. I still don't know what really happened or why I was exiled from their friendship but I wish them all the best a pray that life is kind to them. As hard as the loss was I have looked around and not only found out that I had so many friends around me already who I had neglected but also I made room for new friends, new experiences, letting people in that I wouldn't have in the little bubble I had created for myself. I have re-evoked friendships that I had let slip by the way side and I have made some of the best friends in the past year. A year ago I would have told you I would not be able to go on without the friends I had but after mourning the loss and picking myself back up I have realised that not only can I go on but I think I am happier, more myself and more free of judgment then I have felt in a long time.
The boy that I was buying presents for is no longer in my life, which is something I never thought I would have had the guts to do, replaced... no upgraded by a boy who makes me feel like the only girl in the room. He puts up with my tantrums, dries my tears when crying over friends, tells me I'm beautiful first thing in the morning and goes to battle to defend me and try to fix things for me. I have stopped making plans for me and started making plans for us, the idea of forever with just one person doesn't scare me anymore and in so many more ways than he knows he has loved me back to emotional health from the wreck I was after my last relationship. He is nothing like I thought I would ever go for and yet he is everything that I needed. If you had of told me this time last year that I would meet a boy who would teach me to trust again, remind me that I am beautiful and call me on my shit whilst still having the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen I would have laughed at you, but somehow it has happened and I don't take a minute of it for granted.
I still work in retail but I now work in a job that I love with people that I adore and a discount on shoes that has created somewhat of a monster. I realise how many people hate their job and so I count myself lucky that I don't dread my long hours of getting paid to hang out with some of my best friends and try on pretty things. Likewise I am still waiting for uni to start but a different major in something I never thought I would be smart enough to get into, psychology, whilst still keeping my passion as a second major in english and creative writing. I am so excited at the prospect of spending my life helping people make their lives better and coming along side people who may have been on a similar journey to me.
Finally in November of this year I did something I have wanted to do for so many years; I visited an orphanage in a third world country, I met some of the most inspirational people. The workers who give their lives to look after these children and the children who have nothing and yet dream of doing great things with their lives. It humbled me and gave back bone to the shit I used to talk about helping people, when I myself had done nothing. It started a love affair to go to more places, see more things and keep injustice firmly in my sight so I can never become complacent about poverty or peoples needs in general.
I guess the reason I share this is to say that no matter where you find yourself this Christmas, no matter how you feel or how hopeless your situation may seem, sometimes all you have to do is hold on, wait out the storm and see whats waiting on the other side. The light you struggle to see at the end of the tunnel may be more than daylight, it may be the answer to your questions, the first steps of your dreams and the warmth of the love you have been waiting for. As cliche as it sounds, sometimes you have to hit the bottom and lose everything you held onto before you can be free to appreciate how great life can be.
All in all I am the happiest I can remember being, where I was lost and without direction last year, 12 months has brought me so much clarity and new opportunities. I have amazing friends who make me laugh until I can't breath, an amazing boyfriend who buys me teapots, an amazing job and an exciting new course I'm about to start.
I am so excited to see what 2012 has to bring, I don't know if it can top 2011 but maybe a trip to Europe can help... (talkin' to you Spyra)
smile often
Beth x
It's funny because I didn't really realise that it is happening, it's not like the year you graduate school or the year you turn 21, it was more subtle, unmarked with celebration or ritual, but just as dramatic when you look back.
In some ways this time of year will always be the same. This time last year I was spending time with family, putting up the tree, going to see Christmas lights, buying present for my friends and a boy, working hard in retail and relaxing before the start up of uni again. In these ways my life is pretty much exactly the same, but all the details are different.
I am no longer speaking to, let alone buying presents for, the people that I was last year.
The friends I had then who I would have very easily put money on being in my life forever no longer want anything to do with me, after many tears and failed attempts to bridge a gap I have let them go, realising that some things you just can't fix. I still don't know what really happened or why I was exiled from their friendship but I wish them all the best a pray that life is kind to them. As hard as the loss was I have looked around and not only found out that I had so many friends around me already who I had neglected but also I made room for new friends, new experiences, letting people in that I wouldn't have in the little bubble I had created for myself. I have re-evoked friendships that I had let slip by the way side and I have made some of the best friends in the past year. A year ago I would have told you I would not be able to go on without the friends I had but after mourning the loss and picking myself back up I have realised that not only can I go on but I think I am happier, more myself and more free of judgment then I have felt in a long time.
The boy that I was buying presents for is no longer in my life, which is something I never thought I would have had the guts to do, replaced... no upgraded by a boy who makes me feel like the only girl in the room. He puts up with my tantrums, dries my tears when crying over friends, tells me I'm beautiful first thing in the morning and goes to battle to defend me and try to fix things for me. I have stopped making plans for me and started making plans for us, the idea of forever with just one person doesn't scare me anymore and in so many more ways than he knows he has loved me back to emotional health from the wreck I was after my last relationship. He is nothing like I thought I would ever go for and yet he is everything that I needed. If you had of told me this time last year that I would meet a boy who would teach me to trust again, remind me that I am beautiful and call me on my shit whilst still having the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen I would have laughed at you, but somehow it has happened and I don't take a minute of it for granted.
I still work in retail but I now work in a job that I love with people that I adore and a discount on shoes that has created somewhat of a monster. I realise how many people hate their job and so I count myself lucky that I don't dread my long hours of getting paid to hang out with some of my best friends and try on pretty things. Likewise I am still waiting for uni to start but a different major in something I never thought I would be smart enough to get into, psychology, whilst still keeping my passion as a second major in english and creative writing. I am so excited at the prospect of spending my life helping people make their lives better and coming along side people who may have been on a similar journey to me.
Finally in November of this year I did something I have wanted to do for so many years; I visited an orphanage in a third world country, I met some of the most inspirational people. The workers who give their lives to look after these children and the children who have nothing and yet dream of doing great things with their lives. It humbled me and gave back bone to the shit I used to talk about helping people, when I myself had done nothing. It started a love affair to go to more places, see more things and keep injustice firmly in my sight so I can never become complacent about poverty or peoples needs in general.
I guess the reason I share this is to say that no matter where you find yourself this Christmas, no matter how you feel or how hopeless your situation may seem, sometimes all you have to do is hold on, wait out the storm and see whats waiting on the other side. The light you struggle to see at the end of the tunnel may be more than daylight, it may be the answer to your questions, the first steps of your dreams and the warmth of the love you have been waiting for. As cliche as it sounds, sometimes you have to hit the bottom and lose everything you held onto before you can be free to appreciate how great life can be.
All in all I am the happiest I can remember being, where I was lost and without direction last year, 12 months has brought me so much clarity and new opportunities. I have amazing friends who make me laugh until I can't breath, an amazing boyfriend who buys me teapots, an amazing job and an exciting new course I'm about to start.
I am so excited to see what 2012 has to bring, I don't know if it can top 2011 but maybe a trip to Europe can help... (talkin' to you Spyra)
smile often
Beth x
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Life
We only get one life and it is slipping away one minute at a time so stop wasting yours chasing big houses, fast cars and nice clothes.
Live the life you were born to live, the life your 10 year old self dreamed of for their future.
Stop complicating it. Get over yourself, you can't take your title with you.
Let go of the things holding you back, say goodbye to those that abuse you and embrace those that life has abused.
Share meals with the ones you love and order more than a salad.
Leave the house, heck leave the country, the magic exists just outside your comfort zone.
Read often, never stop learning, ideas are precious and you are nowhere near as smart as you think you are.
Love people, you may get hurt half of the time but you will get hurt every time if you never let yourself love anyone and when someone does hurt you: Forgive, you don't know their story so who are you to judge.
Stand up for what you believe in. Speak when you want to be silent, dance when you want to sit it out. Take time for people when you're busy with stuff.
Live from your deepest passion, even when people say you can't do it. No, especially when people say you can't do it.
Stop asking if people are making you happy and start asking how you can make people happy and if you aren't happy with something, change it.
Life was meant to be lived, not just survived because none of us are getting out alive.
Live the life you were born to live, the life your 10 year old self dreamed of for their future.
Stop complicating it. Get over yourself, you can't take your title with you.
Let go of the things holding you back, say goodbye to those that abuse you and embrace those that life has abused.
Share meals with the ones you love and order more than a salad.
Leave the house, heck leave the country, the magic exists just outside your comfort zone.
Read often, never stop learning, ideas are precious and you are nowhere near as smart as you think you are.
Love people, you may get hurt half of the time but you will get hurt every time if you never let yourself love anyone and when someone does hurt you: Forgive, you don't know their story so who are you to judge.
Stand up for what you believe in. Speak when you want to be silent, dance when you want to sit it out. Take time for people when you're busy with stuff.
Live from your deepest passion, even when people say you can't do it. No, especially when people say you can't do it.
Stop asking if people are making you happy and start asking how you can make people happy and if you aren't happy with something, change it.
Life was meant to be lived, not just survived because none of us are getting out alive.
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