Rant

So I kind of feel like my mother is disappointed with me. Don't worry this isn't going to be a "perfect" by simple plan moment. I love my mother, I really, really, really do but she is very old fashioned and I think I may scare her. You see she assumes I must not be happy because I am single, or that something is missing in my life because my facebook status doesn't say "in a relationship." Every time somebody gets engaged or married or even starts dating she is like "ohh that will be you soon." On my 21st birthday she even gave me a wedding barbie, saying that this will be the next thing we celebrate. SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS!

Okay I get it, you want me to be happy, what mother doesn't want that for their daughter but what if my idea of happy isn't to be married with 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs by the time I'm 25. I'm not saying there is anything in the world wrong with this, I think it's amazing and lovely and I do hope to settle down and get married... One day. But not today, today I am 21 years old, I want to volunteer as much as I can, write as much as I can, study as much as I can, travel as much as I can. I want to lose myself in being young and loving God and putting every ounce of energy I have into a cause that makes everything suddenly matter. I've never wanted a 9-5. I've never wanted to settle down early. I've never wanted that and it seems like she was fine with that until I hit 21, when suddenly I was ment to be in some sort of committed relationship with a promise ring.

You see my mum was married by the time she was 21, my dad was 18. They had a house, they went to work, they came home and they made dinner, my dad was a pastor, my mum a carer, they had 2 children and they sent them to a private school. I love my parents, but I don't want their life. I want my own life, I want to go on adventures, I want to help people, I wan't to keep injustice firmly in my sight so I never get complacent about it. I know I cant save the whole world but I would just feel like it was such a waist if I didn't spend every day trying and so far that hasn't meant being with a significant other. I think my mum finds this hard to understand, I think she assumes I must be unhappy... It's hard enough being the only one at family gatherings riding solo without my well intentioned mother wanting to give me some pep talk about how "the right guy is out there" I KNOW THIS! I wasn't worried until everyone started treating me like my singleness was a disease that needed to be cured.

So mother, yes I am single, yes I have tattoos, yes I am 21 and STILL want to change the world. I know you thought I would grow out of it all and I know you'd like me to have a more simple goal in life but I don't and if that means that I have to spend Christmas on the kids table for a few extra years then I'm ok with that, I wish you would be too.

Smile often
beth