Ok boys and girls,
Gather around and I am going to tell you some home truths that yo' mummas were too nice to tell you.
Ladies, lets go first:
1. CALM THE ACTUAL EFF DOWN! I understand that all your ovaries are drying up and you need to have 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs by the time you're 25 or you won't fulfill societies bullshit rules for your life, but seriously, I feel like I need to quote Taylor Swift to ya'll: "In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, I didn't know it at 15" (or 23 or 35). I might get it if you are a 47 year old crack addict who isn't going to meet anyone any time soon but girls, you're not, you're stunning women who are working and studying and having amazing social lives and you are so preoccupied with finding a dude to sit around and do nothing with. You know what I realised after 5 years straight in 2 back to back relationships? The best thing about having nobody to sit around and do nothing with is that I stoped doing nothing. I don't have to ask anyones permission.
I have assignments that need working on, and now I have nobody to tell me to come to bed/watch a movie/do it later.
I want to go out with my friends and sleep on whoevers couch I end up
on, and now I have nobody to make me feel guilty for that.
I want to go to Tanzania and help in an orphanage for 6 weeks mid next year, and now I have nobody to tell me it's too dangerous.
I want to do a semester in Miami next year after that, and now I have nobody to worry about sitting at home for 6 months.
I hate the idea that we think our value is based on whether some dude wants to bang us or not, just calm down, it will happen and stressing about it isn't going to make it happen any faster. Enjoy having nobody and just do what you love and have fun.
2. Stop making excuses for guys. Why is it that so often I can be having a great dinner or drinks or whatever and I look over at my friends who have everything going for them and they are all upset because some guy didn't reply to their text message or they didn't return their call but "I totally saw him update his status on facebook, so I know he has his phone."
Ummm sooo here's the thing, please don't hit me, but he isn't shy, his phone isn't broken, he hasn't been in a freak gasoline fight accident, he DID get the message and for the love of God please don't press send on that fourth message. It seems pretty obvious to me, if he wants to talk to you he will talk to you, if he doesn't he wont. If he wants to see you he will make time for you and if he doesn't want to see you he won't. Stop making excuses for them, it really isn't that difficult. Why is it such a big deal? He didn't reply? Sweet now you know he isn't interested. Next.
Because now that I have told you the bad news, here is the good news, IT DOESN'T MATTER! It doesn't matter if the hot plumber likes you or not, some guys will dig you, some guys won't, that doesn't define you. You're probably amazing and that isn't because anyone does or doesn't like you, it's because you know who you are and don't need anyone to help you feel that. Right?!
Gentleman:
1. CALM THE ACTUAL EFF DOWN!
If you are going to tell us you love us or want to marry us within 2 weeks, you
better hope that we run for the hills, because if a girl doesn't then
she is probably one of those girls who is afraid her ovaries will dry
up and she will be left on the shelf (see above). Now I know people
would argue that there is exceptions but to be honest you might think
"well she is a bit of alright" but you don't know what she is like
when she is PMSing or having a fat day, or God forbid you don't answer
her 13th call (told you, crazy ovaries lady). Just chill, have fun for a while, if a girl likes you she isn't going anywhere and a little bit of mystery is very sexy.
2. We don't always go for "bad boys"!
Nobody likes being treated badly, and I understand that we women are ridiculous and hard to read but pretty much every girl I have ever met wants to be with a guy that only has eyes for her and actually makes the effort that we are worth. BUT, the reason you think we only go for bad boys is because we aren't going for you. Here's the thing, and brace yourself because your ego won't like this, it's definitely not because we don't like that you are nice, it's probably because we don't like that you are socially awkward, or always forget to brush your teach, or work at McDonalds, or wear clothes from 5 seasons ago. There is a million reasons we aren't going for you and absolutely none of them are because you are nice. Stop worrying about girls that don't like you and find a girl that might, you like play station and eating pizza at home on a Saturday night? Awesome, find someone who loves that too, because miss sexy who goes out to fancy clubs, wears Prada and sleeps only in Egyptian cotton probably isn't going to be too down for that. What about the cute chick at the book store who sometimes chats for just a bit too long, wonder what she is up to this week? Stop hating girls and thinking we always go for "bad boys" and start going for girls who you might actually have something in common with.
3. Make a move.
If you like a girl, tell her! Just tell her! I have had guys tell me they like me before and I have had to say, look sorry I'm not really feeling that, but I never thought less of them. Then I have had 2 guys tell me they liked me and I liked them too and wam bam thankyou mam, we dated for years. Don't play games, don't play hard to get, invite her out, make her feel special, tell her how you feel, worse case scenario, she doesn't feel the same way and you have lost nothing. However, if you never tell her, some other guy is going to come along and tell her and you are going to always wonder "what if?" Don't wait for her to make a move, be a man, take the lead and thank me later.
Ok, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Next time I have to give advice I will direct you all to this. I promise I do it out of love.Smile oftenBeth x
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