I am an ideas person.
Let me expand, I am all about the beautiful quotes, the dreams of changing the world, the hope of making an impact; I have a million different ideas going around in my head all the time.
"I should read a new book, I should write a book, I wonder how much it costs to get to London, can I work in london? My dad was born in England so I'm sure I can work in London, The USA, now I know I can't work in the USA, but maybe Canada, that's just like the USA right? Maybe I should change my major back to writing, maybe I should drop writing and focus on just psych, God I wish uni was over already, maybe I should do my masters overseas, study abroad, maybe not, maybe I should just join an organisation and go to Africa, or Cambodia, I really want to help girls out from human traffiking, but I'm going to need my psych degree for that, I need to focus and not have a boyfriend for at least a year or two, ohh yay texts from cute boys, I wonder how one goes about making a zine, I wonder if my hair will look better if I put some more blonde in it, I really need those Jeffrey Campbell shoes to go with my cheap mondays..." You get the point.
I struggle when it comes to actually sticking to one thing, I start out so well, I have passion and drive and initiative in spades but when it comes to the quiet bits in the middle, the late night assignment writing, the quizzes that take 2 days but only make up 2% of your mark, the millions of pages of research that you pour over to get one paragraph of material you can use. I have to remind myself that these things, the quiet insignificant nights in your room that nobody see's, these are the puzzle pieces that make up the big picture.
My problem is that I get bored too easily and something else always looks more exciting, the grass is always greener on the other side and I get distracted by bright lights and boys with rolled up jeans. I am an addict for dramatics (thanks TBS) but I'm learning that it isn't the big moments when everyone looks at you, the graduations, the weddings, the promotions, that define you, it is the quiet little moments in between that nobody see's and the prudence to stick something out from start to finish. It is realising you can't have it all in life, you have to make decisions and that is when you move forward. You have to pick a path and see something through to the end, take all your eggs and put them in one basket and just see what you are capable of. Thats what I need to do anyway...
Smile often
x
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Shine
"Shine. Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God." Matt 5:16 (MSG)
One of the hardest things to do in life is to be truly real with the people around us. In an age of blogging, social networking and status updating, we are all too capable of telling the world every not-so-funny thought, averagely edited instagram photo and mildly indulgent check in. But ask us to delve even an inch beneath our carefully crafted image and suddenly we have very little to say.
We are so scared that someone might find out that sometimes we cry ourselves to sleep at night, or struggle to get out of bed in the morning, or dream of a better life, partner or career. These secrets are walls that keep us alone. I have always felt in my heart that peoples stories are powerful, that baring our lives could help others that feel as though they are the only ones that stick Adele on repeat and dream of their ex or more seriously, stick their fingers down their throats, slide a blade across their thighs, put on makeup to hide their bruises or stair longingly at the bottle of sleeping pills wishing they would one day have the courage.
Your story is powerful. You are not alone. You are not the only one with insecurities. You are no the only one with broken dreams. It is okay to not be okay. So few people have the guts to admit to not having it all together and have the courage to do the long journey to the heart and do the hard work of the soul that it takes to be whole.
But the ones that do? The ones that dare to go there?
It's their voices that are ultimately heard and their stories that generate change. You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
One of the hardest things to do in life is to be truly real with the people around us. In an age of blogging, social networking and status updating, we are all too capable of telling the world every not-so-funny thought, averagely edited instagram photo and mildly indulgent check in. But ask us to delve even an inch beneath our carefully crafted image and suddenly we have very little to say.
We are so scared that someone might find out that sometimes we cry ourselves to sleep at night, or struggle to get out of bed in the morning, or dream of a better life, partner or career. These secrets are walls that keep us alone. I have always felt in my heart that peoples stories are powerful, that baring our lives could help others that feel as though they are the only ones that stick Adele on repeat and dream of their ex or more seriously, stick their fingers down their throats, slide a blade across their thighs, put on makeup to hide their bruises or stair longingly at the bottle of sleeping pills wishing they would one day have the courage.
Your story is powerful. You are not alone. You are not the only one with insecurities. You are no the only one with broken dreams. It is okay to not be okay. So few people have the guts to admit to not having it all together and have the courage to do the long journey to the heart and do the hard work of the soul that it takes to be whole.
But the ones that do? The ones that dare to go there?
It's their voices that are ultimately heard and their stories that generate change. You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
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