Wakeup call

"And I will never require more or ask you to change because my biggest fear is that if I threatened to leave you wouldn't try to stop me"

I wrote this sentence in my diary 2 years ago. This sentence sums up the past 3.5 years of my life. For almost 3 years I put up with a boy who would call me names, leave me on highways, throw forks at me, threaten to kill himself when he needed me and ignore me when I needed him.

After finally getting out I promised myself I would never let it happen again. I promised myself I would be strong and walk away at the first signs of a man treating me badly. I promised myself that I would live as an example to girls younger than me and girls I long to see set free. I promised myself I would never again fear being alone.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I knew how to require more.

27 million people on planet earth are in slavery TODAY; Being used for cheap manual labour, factory work and sex. Girls as young as 3 are being sold into the sex trade by mothers who can't afford to feed their families.

25 thousand people die from hunger EVERY DAY; think how long you would have to go without food to actually die from it, now think about the last time you threw food in the bin because you were "full" or it was "gross."

2 in 3 people don't have access to clean drinking water; That's the free stuff that comes from our taps, all treated and ready to drink, you know the stuff we stand mindlessly bathing in for an hour in the morning because it's waking us up?

11 million children do not live to see their fifth birthday because of completely PREVENTABLE diseases; The kind of diseases you and I have all suffered from and survived with little more than a course of antibiotics.

While I sit at home stressing about how a boy is or isn't treating me or worried about weather he will or wont call, or willing to drop everything to spend Friday night with him, I am completely ignoring the deepest call of my heart, the call to help people.

I know I need to be strong, if not for me then for all the people I can't effect while I am continuously wondering if I'm enough.

My prayer tonight is that I don't fear the unknown, but step into it.. even if that means I have to be alone.

Note: I write this not in some narcissistic attempt to rise above, I write this in hope that someone else who is looking for the strength to be strong may see this and feel like maybe they do have what it takes to stand up and say enough is enough.