ideas

I am an ideas person.

Let me expand, I am all about the beautiful quotes, the dreams of changing the world, the hope of making an impact; I have a million different ideas going around in my head all the time.

"I should read a new book, I should write a book, I wonder how much it costs to get to London, can I work in london? My dad was born in England so I'm sure I can work in London, The USA, now I know I can't work in the USA, but maybe Canada, that's just like the USA right? Maybe I should change my major back to writing, maybe I should drop writing and focus on just psych, God I wish uni was over already, maybe I should do my masters overseas, study abroad, maybe not, maybe I should just join an organisation and go to Africa, or Cambodia, I really want to help girls out from human traffiking, but I'm going to need my psych degree for that, I need to focus and not have a boyfriend for at least a year or two, ohh yay texts from cute boys, I wonder how one goes about making a zine, I wonder if my hair will look better if I put some more blonde in it, I really need those Jeffrey Campbell shoes to go with my cheap mondays..." You get the point.

I struggle when it comes to actually sticking to one thing, I start out so well, I have passion and drive and initiative in spades but when it comes to the quiet bits in the middle, the late night assignment writing, the quizzes that take 2 days but only make up 2% of your mark, the millions of pages of research that you pour over to get one paragraph of material you can use. I have to remind myself that these things, the quiet insignificant nights in your room that nobody see's, these are the puzzle pieces that make up the big picture.

My problem is that I get bored too easily and something else always looks more exciting, the grass is always greener on the other side and I get distracted by bright lights and boys with rolled up jeans. I am an addict for dramatics (thanks TBS) but I'm learning that it isn't the big moments when everyone looks at you, the graduations, the weddings, the promotions, that define you, it is the quiet little moments in between that nobody see's and the prudence to stick something out from start to finish. It is realising you can't have it all in life, you have to make decisions and that is when you move forward. You have to pick a path and see something through to the end, take all your eggs and put them in one basket and just see what you are capable of. Thats what I need to do anyway...

Smile often
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